Acceptance.

My best friend told me
the last time she saw me
this upset
for this long
was when my dog died.
Denial.

I was the only one home
the day I knew Kessie
was going to die.
I saw it in his eyes,
and I felt it.
In one day,
he was gone.
Forever.
Anger.

This,
as insane as it sounds,
feels worse.
Bargaining.
The finality is lacking,
yet overbearing.
It is not death,
it is a dozen Kubler-Ross stages
repeating.
Depression.

It's hearing that,
something I've so coveted after,
for months,
something so simple,
fucking hand-holding,
is out of my reach.
Forever.