In the dungeon.

I know that it's
INCREDIBLY PATHETIC
to feel at all disheartened
if a FOUR YEAR OLD
shakes her head "no"
when asked if she thinks
that you're pretty.

EVEN IF YOU DID
try pretty hard that day to look decent.

BECAUSE SHE IS JUST A CHILD-

AND SHE KNOWS NOTHING,

right?



People tell me-
"You should think better of yourself".
What the fuck does that mean?



Two nights ago-
I think I had a mid-life crisis.
Or, rather, as I termed it-
A "mid-youth" crisis.
Even though, I am past childhood,
by far.

I was driving on the highway with my arm out the window,
quarter to midnight,
Looking at all the buildings
I had seen a hundred times before
but in my head,
they were different
And I was in a new city.

So then,
I started freaking out.
Telling Crystal and Jenni
that we should take a month out of our lives,
and just drive with no destination.

What is one month?

I don't know what it would accomplish.
Probably nothing.
But, how can I know for sure?

I want the feeling of hot air on my arm
looking at a city I know nothing about...

I want it night after night.

I didn't fall asleep until 3.

The last things I see before I go to sleep
are three small ships
I have hanging from my celing.

I blame them.